Door Stops and Traffic Jams
I saw something new at work that I have never seen before. Anywhere. Someone had taken one of those little wooden door stops and wedged it in between a door frame and inside of the door, almost at about eye-level. Prior to this I had only ever seen them used between the bottom of a door and the floor. Taking a step back and looking at this particular situation, it made perfect sense – the floor underneath the door, when open, is made of some type of marble. The door stop didn’t have any type of rubber on it, just pure wood, so it would slide on the marble and prove ineffective, hence the jerry-rigged solution.
Brilliant, right?
Or maybe you don’t think it’s brilliant. Perhaps your thinking has you going in a different direction, like why not just use a rubber-soled door stop, or I bet that looks silly. Who knows. Your perspective is your own, and the solution itself is open to interpretation.
At the end of the day, the result is that the door is propped open. In this particular circumstance, it is to keep people from touching the door handle in pursuit of preventing the spread of COVID-19 within my office building.
In the workplace as in personal life, each of us interprets things in our own way. Sometimes these interpretations match in part or in whole, revolving around certain common ways we experience things, other times they vary wildly. The reasons for this are detailed within the realm of a field of study called perceptual psychology. It’s a fascinating read, but for now let it suffice to say there are physiological and psychological reasons for our differing perceptions of things we see, hear, smell, and otherwise experience.
As with the aforementioned wooden door stop, how you perceive the solution may differ from mine, but at the end of the day the door is propped open. The end justifies the means, so-to-speak.
One of the traits that differentiates us as humans from many species within the animal kingdom is our self-awareness. We are able to evaluate our actions and responses to our experiences, rather than simply react primitively. We control our actions in accordance with our personal well-being, beliefs, and other factors.
In the workplace, self-awareness is essential in reacting to situations. We can encounter an individual or a problem, and interpret it in our own way. In my professional career I have at one time or another experienced customers, co-workers, and bosses with a problem, suggestion, or request that I have perceived as irrelevant, incorrect, or in some cases rude. What I have learned is to separate myself emotionally from the situation, take a step back, and ask myself: what is this individual trying to accomplish? Once the goal is identified, I can then work with them on a solution in one form or another.
My self-awareness keeps me from reacting primitively, perhaps engaging the “fight or flight” response ingrained within our DNA. This is a good thing, keeping me from getting fired. I can see the potential result of my action, and choose to focus on finding a solution.
It’s not as easy to do this in private life.
For me at least, it’s primarily due to the emotional connections I have with people. If a stranger has a different perspective than me about something we both are experiencing, I don’t give a hang. But if someone I care about does, then it can in some instances affect me emotionally. And this can have very deep, long-lasting effects if not dealt with.
At age 53, I’m still learning about, well, life in general. Specific to this train of thought, I’m still learning about interacting with people I love, and actually addressing some of the scars left by encounters with loved ones in the past. Professional therapy is giving me the tools to deal with many of these scars, primarily through the separation tactic I mentioned previously. In my case, I literally take a step back and view a situation as if I am watching a movie or reporting on a news story, rather than letting myself become enveloped by it. Stepping off stage and watching the performance from the front row, if you will. This helps me identify core issues needing a solution and craft a meaningful response to achieve a positive result.
Crafting a meaningful response is not always easy to do when we are exposed to other people’s perspectives. Especially in today's COVID-19 world of information overload, anxiety, and physical isolation keeping us from ongoing personal interactions with other people essential to our mental and spiritual health. The slope between self-awareness and primal response becomes more slippery, making it easier to lose touch with our better selves during our interactions with others.
Focusing on solutions in a challenging environment like this is tough but not impossible. Self-awareness, taking a step back, and being open to other perspectives are tools that are always there for us to use -- they aren't going anywhere. And using them leads to good things, big and small, in all sorts of different situations.
Take my ride home from work this past Tuesday, for example. My commute takes me through a densely populated area known as Porters Neck. There’s a busy intersection where a highway enters and exits the area, right where a Lowe’s Home Improvement and other shopping centers are located. As I approached this intersection, I noticed longer than usual lines of traffic and brake lights. It took a while to inch closer, and I was expecting some type of accident, but it turned out that the traffic signal was simply broken.
I noticed groups of cars using the intersection from the left, followed by a group from the right, taking turns. Then a group of oncoming traffic came through, and our line moved up a bit. I was looking for someone directing traffic, whether a department of transportation employee, power company worker, firefighter or police officer, but realized there was nobody. Drivers were just interacting with one another, calmly working together to achieve a common goal of getting safely through the busy intersection. No blaring horns, no cussing, no peeling out or revving engines in anger.
Sure, some people were probably complaining, perhaps cursing some governmental entity for not rushing to the scene to help out or blaming them for designing the intersection poorly or building a light that breaks – you get my drift. And other people may have been marveling at the fact that everyone was getting the job done (I know I was). It was a difficult situation, but everyone kept their emotions in check and regardless of how we perceived the problem, we focused on finding a solution to achieve a positive end result, instead of just reacting.
Societies require human interaction in all different forms, and solutions are open to interpretation as we seek positive results. Effective interactions, in my opinion, require the tools of self-awareness, taking a step back, and being open to other perspectives.
They seem to be working for me, anyways.
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